4 Traits of Spiritual Mentors
Being a spiritual mentor does not equal being a religious leader. Mentors are not necessarily managing the direction of the church itself. The reality is they are leaders, but maybe look different from what you expect. It’s important to know the traits of spiritual mentors, these individuals are valuable in the development of the disciples within your congregation.
Here's a more accurate picture of what a spiritual mentor looks like:
Trait # 1 - Suggestive Guidance
Many times spiritual mentors live a life that is unique to others, and may not follow the rules that society places on them. Overall these type of leaders do not operate under the assumption that others should do life in the same way, rather they live life based on principles and understandings that may be countercultural. The value of these mentors is that they have discovered unique practices that have allowed them to understand and relate to God in ways that may differ from the status quo.
Trait # 2 - The “High Road” Less Traveled
This trait of a successful spiritual mentor is that they choose to live a life based on positive thinking. The empowerment they get from understanding who God is allows them to understand a level of joy that is based on the fruits of the spirit. Rather than living a life of happiness based on objective worldly treasures, they like to surround themselves in an atmosphere that is positive rather than negative.
Trait #3 - Lifting Others Up
Spiritual mentors live to lift others up constantly. They find ways to take individuals who are struggling in life and allow them to become successful based on goals, skills, and talents. Spiritual mentors find fulfillment in witnessing others become successful, and celebrating their accomplishments.
Trait #4 - Serving Others First
Spiritual mentors live out the passage in Mark 10:45, where Jesus says "for even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and give his life as a ransom for many." They live a life that is based on servant leadership, looking for opportunities to take care of the needs of others.
Spiritual mentoring comes down to specific characteristics that will lead to positive spiritual development for those they are mentoring. These characteristics come from years of life experience, and that means these folks may not be CEOs, presidents of their companies, commanding officers in the military. These individuals may come from very humble upbringings, living a life of low income status, and/or practicing simplicity in their life. Being able to identify these diamonds in the rough can be difficult, but understanding these virtuous traits will bear fruit if you are able to discover them!
Who are the people in your church who are already spiritual mentors? Who are those you can develop to become one?
Does your church have a podium or a stage?
That may seem like a strange question, but it is important if your church is going to attract and hold 21st century people. One of the major concepts that drive 21st churches is that worship is an experience—not a service. Services are by nature stable events that follow a standard, non-changing script. Experiences, on the other hand, are intended to be adaptive, creative and designed to communicate a story.
If the front of your church generally stays the same (yes, flowers may change or decorations may be added for specific seasons) you have a podium, literally, a place to stand. If the front of your church changes with the themes of the preaching; if it is designed to visually communicate in and of itself—you have a stage.
If your church has a podium I encourage you to make the shift in thinking from podium to stage. If you’re a church planter who already thinks in terms of stage, many times your challenge is you meet in rented space. You can’t set up a stage and leave it for six or eight weeks at a time. You have to create a portable stage.
There are some very good free resources to help you think creatively about designing a stage to help create your worship experience. Here are 3 YouTube videos with some great ideas to get you started on turning your podium into a stage.
Inexpensive Church Stage Design
3 Small Church Stage Design Ideas
Stage Design Ideas: LED Par Cans
The Team You Need to Pray With
The greatest outpouring of God’s power is found in the Gospels; we are still measuring the impact of Christ to Earth. But the story of the greatest disbursement of God’s power in human history is found in the book of Acts. Never before had so many humans, from so many places, been the means to the astounding activity of God. The outpouring of the Spirit of God brought forth love, sacrificial sharing, healing, miracles, and boldness in unprecedented occurrences. And almost every occurrence was accompanied by the prayers of many. In light of the 34 references to prayer in Acts we should ask: are we calling on God with the frequency or intensity of the first believers?
I think we know the answer and I believe we need to pray at 3 new levels.
There’s a lot of interest and activity surrounding discipleship today, and that is good! As I hear and read a lot of this discipleship talk, it often seems to be in the context of maturing those who are already believers—often lifelong believers. We need to continually remind ourselves that the discipleship journey includes life from unbelief to mature discipleship.
When we follow Jesus’ ministry we see a fairly seamless process as he meets people where they are and moves them from unbelief to active believer. Look at the Samaritan woman in John 4:1-42. When Jesus encounters her at the well she’s not a Messiah believer. Jesus begins by establishing relationship. Then the two engage in a series of back forth questions and statements. Ultimately, Jesus gets to the heart of her life,
Jesus: “Go call your husband” Woman: “I don’t have a husband”
“You’re right, you have 5” “I see you’re a prophet”
“Believe me woman” “I know that the Messiah is coming”
“I am he” “Come, see. Could this be the Messiah?”
By the end of this story the woman is confessing her commitment of belief to her towns people, who by this time are ready to go and see for themselves. I believe this is a classic story demonstrating how Jesus met this woman on her terms, then deliberately led her to conclude that he was the Messiah of promise and worthy of discipleship.
Here’s the question you need to answer: Do the activities your church provides give people a clear, well-defined pathway to faith in Jesus then growth towards active discipleship?
Here’s a simple, effective five-step system that you can use to create a discipleship funnel to help your church create disciples while it grows in numbers and health.
Step 1: Encounter. If we believe that God is searching for and gathering people to himself, how do we meet these people? You must learn to turn encounters into meeting events. Your church needs specific meeting activities where you get to encounter people. Good meeting points often include one off events such as neighborhood parties, Vacation Bible Schools, and holiday activities. What truly characterizes a meeting point is you have to collect contact information, at minimum first and last names and their phone number or email. If you don’t get these, you can’t follow up. Not only do you leave people stranded, but all that energy you expend doesn’t do you any good. Your goal for encounter is to get to know people, listen for their spiritual story, and provide them opportunity for a next step. What are your most effective encounter activities that help you meet new people?
Step 2: Engage. Engagement is where people have opportunity to hear the gospel, ask questions, consider the gospel’s implications for their lives, and see how they fit with you, God's people. Good engagement activities are short-term, well-defined studies such as the Alpha course, Story of Redemption, or Let’s Start Talking. What I think makes these some of the best engagement activities is because they occur in small groups where there are multiple seekers. These small groups allow discussion and question asking; people get to think and process together so they gain a multi-dimensional look at the gospel. The believers in these engagement groups act as guides and gospel illuminators; they’re not teachers. The goal of engagement activity is to provide seekers the opportunity to make a valid decision about the lordship of Jesus in their lives. What activity do you repeatedly use so people can engage the gospel?
Step 3: Commitment. People need to have the opportunity to make a specific commitment to Jesus. Even more than that, they need people who care for them to ask them if they are ready to give themselves to Jesus. Good commitment activities include events like baptism days, special preaching series, and weekend retreats or summer camps. It's always important to give people the opportunity to respond to God's big ask in their lives. The goal of commitment is for people to make their confession of faith in Jesus and give themselves over to him in baptism. When and how do you ask people to make their commitment to Jesus?
Step 4: Essentials. When people are new Christians they need specific information, ideas, and guided experiences that help them integrate their new belief into practical life. In Kenya we had a year of specific teaching that oriented new believers to the Bible and we guided them through the basic practices of Christian life. Specifically prepared Bible classes and small groups for new believers provide good opportunities for new Christians to grow in an environment designed for their needs. The goal of the essentials period is to give new Christians the essential insights into Christian faith and life so their newly acquired faith can grow. What activities do you provide at your church where new Christians can be oriented to both scripture and their new life in Jesus?
Step 5: Experience. Again, in Kenya, we found it took several years of experience and growth for faith to become firmly rooted in people's lives. There was often a trial during this time where their faith would be tested. Sometimes they would make it, sometimes not, sometimes they would succumb then later return. Our role was to help them consider the possibilities and consequences of their decisions. Good preaching series, ongoing small groups, solid Bible classes and accountability groups are all good activities that allow experienced Christian living to form. How do you support your people through the trials of life that test their faith?
If you think of these five steps as a funnel, you want to always be putting new people into the wide end of the funnel where they can move down through these five sequential steps. The structure of such a process gives everything you do intentional purpose that creates movement. Without such structure, most churches find their activity becomes a hodgepodge of ever repeating events that simply maintains what they have. We find ourselves very active but without much movement or results.
I hope these ideas are helpful to you as you obey God’s great commission and make disciples of Jesus Christ.
How far out do you plan your sermons? Three months? A year? How about three years? I’ll admit, I don’t hear many of us talking about a three-year preaching calendar. But, vision typically stretches out three to five years. If your sermon planning only goes out one year, how do you expect to push your vision forward?
The visionary leadership power of the pulpit is immense. I want to give you a free, 3-step Vision Preaching Calendar template to help you release your God-given preacher super powers:
Step 1: Engage Your Vision
Your church depends on you, its lead pastor, to listen to God and lead them in the direction He intends for the church. This vision work is yours, baby! No one else can do it. Begin your sermon planning with a clear, compelling, concrete vision statement. What needs to be accomplished and what do your people need to bring the vision into reality? If it’s going to take collective prayer, how will you activate them? If it’s a lot of money, how will generosity be raised? If it’s serving your city, how will you motivate them? List the vision and people needs necessary to reach your vision these next three years, then order the needs by importance and logical sequence. Finally, sort those vision needs by year. What must happen this year and into years two and three?
Step Two: Plan your Seasons
The church calendar has a repeating rhythm of two seasons—Grow and Disciple. The Grow seasons are fall and spring while the Discipling seasons are winter and summer. Tom Nebel calls this the Two-Hump Camel Church Calendar (watch his video here).
The Grow seasons are about reaching new people. They’re seasons of attraction when you address the natural impulses of life that open people up to the gospel. Use high interest sermon series during the grow seasons. Create space in your church for invitation and outreach The Discipling seasons are about consolidating growth and maturing people in the Jesus lifestyle. These seasons are ripe for vision-casting, textual studies, and topical lessons that resource people to grow as Jesus followers
With your vision and seasons firmly in mind, map out this year’s lessons so you know that your vision is being moved down the road. Once you’ve filled this year’s calendar with seasonal lessons, you’ve completed 80% of your annual preaching calendar. You’ll be leading your people from the pulpit in ways that make progress on your vision while using the natural growth and discipling seasons of your church.
Step Three: Insert for Balance
Use the remaining 20% of your calendar to balance out your preaching with the needs that arise because of life. Some of you might leave these eight or so Sundays empty to give you room to wiggle, to adjust dates, allow guest speakers, (or take your vacation!). Others of you will feel more comfortable inserting ideas to work on. Either way, these open Sundays allow you opportunity to adjust the content of your preaching calendar to the unanticipated events of life.
If you haven’t already downloaded your free Vision Preaching Calendar, do it now. Feel free to adjust this calendar so it meets your needs.
The difference between Training and Coaching is that Training is with those who are not part of the game yet. Coaching is with the people who are already in the trenches and need sharpening. What better people to sharpen than your shepherding leaders?
Outside of my passion for the Kingdom is my involvement with coaching competitive youth soccer. I have spent much of my life having the joy of playing the game of soccer, and enjoyed getting to play through my college years. As I have gotten older, my body has decided that it is no longer willing or able to perform the way it used to. Though my body was finished with the game, my mind was not willing to give it up. Getting to coach kids is very similar to coaching leaders within a church context. Both are wanting to lead, both are in need of improving and sharpening the gifts that they bring to the team.
There are more similarities between coaching youth soccer and coaching shepherding leadership within the church than you might think. In both cases, you are developing individuals to become better and more focused. You are coaching your shepherding leadership toward putting the Values, Mission and Vision of your church into practice. You are equipping them to serve better, love better, be better. If your leaders are well-coached, they will be pouring into their flock to move people from non-believer to believer, to worker, and eventually into leadership.
Take a minute and read Mark 9:14-29. Looks at Jesus’ example as he coached his disciples on the importance of prayer . He explained prayer to them, but first he practiced and perfected it in his own life.
Whatever you coach your Leaders to become, you should also be practicing. And whatever they encourage the congregation to be become, they should already be in the habit of doing. Here are 4 principles to keep in mind as you deliberately coach your leaders to leader the church.
4 Principals of Coaching Your Leaders:
1. Major in principles rather than methods. Love. Obey. Pray. Serve. Teach the principles, but allow each leader to develop a personal skill set. It is amazing how God overlaps different people's talents to make one fully functioning body of believers.
2. Major in meeting the needs in people, rather than on developing and imparting techniques. Specifics on how to do ministry can shift with seasons and culture. Love is timeless. Hope has no expiration date. Care doesn't go sour.
3. Major in developing the thought processes, rather than the skills. Help your leadership keep the big picture in mind, even when urgent matters crop up. As God prepares the soil of your leaders' hearts, he will bear fruit in them and through them.
4. Major in how to trust God, rather than teaching theories on God. Does your leadership find strength in knowing about God or in knowing God? Do they function out of who and whose they are or how well they understand? Are they passing these truths along to the rest of the congregation?
Running technology is a constant activity anymore. Our computers update software automatically (yeah, right). Every now and then we have to turn our devices off and restart them because their brains get out sync. And then there are times we have to reboot everything with an upgraded operating system.
Leadership acts the same way. Sometimes we get into leadership ruts where it seems hard to do anything but the same thing, even when we know what we’re doing is not getting us where our church or ministry needs to be. Other times we’re hit by leadership jolts that throw us around and leave us feeling disoriented—or even downright nauseous. And then there are times we need to install a new operating system into our leadership.
The Kairos Discovery Lab is an opportunity for you to deliberately assess the state of your leadership in a supportive, spirit-infuse, highly engaged process. Discovery Lab will take you on a journey into your leadership that could change your life and ministry in just the way you need right now.
You’ll be part of a lab with other leader couples like you. People who are committed to their ministry leadership and ready to take it to the next level. The interview team will bath you in prayer and surround with support. You’ll leave knowing you are not alone.
I encourage you to put the next Discovery Lab on your calendar: February 18-22 at the COD Ranch in Tucson, AZ.
Right now, go to the Kairos website, download the Leader Self-Assessment, and get started on rebooting your leadership.
Father, I pray your courageous intentions upon these men and women who have accepted your leadership call in their lives. Fill them with your holy spirit for your glory and your kingdom’s good. Amen.
Have you read The Blessing: Giving the Gift of Unconditional Love (1993, 2011) by John Trent and Gary Smalley? The authors present the idea (or fact) that most people spend much of their lives seeking the blessing of acceptance but never receive it. I would be willing to bet that you feel like that a lot with your ministry. You work hard to do what you should do, to work well with your elders, and to minister graciously to your people but too often feel like in the end, it won’t really matter. You’re still going to get blamed or fired. I’ve sat with quite a few ministers (and their wives) who struggled through those bruising experiences.
We want to offer you a Discovery Lab experience of blessing, blessing that has the power to heal wounds, clarify the future and give you confidence for your journey ahead. At Discovery Lab you’ll receive three intentional, meaningful blessings:
First is the blessing of touch. Not everyone is a “hugger,” but we all need time in touching distance with others. At Discovery Lab the blessing of touch comes in the form of PRAYER. One of the comments we hear most often from lab participants is, “I’ve never been PRAYED over so often and so specifically in my life.” We will PRAY over you over and over again at lab. Get it, PRAYER happens a lot! You are important! You are doing one of the most important works that the world can receive. We will PRAY over and with you in groups and individually, in public and in private, up close and at a distance. We want you to soak in the bath of PRAYER to heal your wounds and soothe your bruises. See how many times PRAYER occurs here? That’s like Discovery Lab!
Second is the blessing of insight. In our over communicated world more and more people feel under listened to. At Discovery Lab the interview team is made up of people who are setting aside their regular life to come LISTEN to you. Have you ever had anyone give five days of their life just to listen to you? Now imagine TEN people who have come JUST TO LISTEN TO YOU! Not only will they listen to you, they will reflect back to you the insights that come to them from God’s Holy Spirit. These insights are our gift to you to speed you on your way through life. You’ll receive these insights both verbally and in a written report following lab.
The third blessing is the blessing of community. You go through lab with a community of other participants and the lab interview team. For those five days you truly see that you are not alone. After lab, you become part of that network of over 125 other couples and individuals who have bonded through the lab experience. It might not quite be a secret handshake, but you share something that opens up your relationship world with people serving the kingdom all over the country.
I encourage you to put the next Discovery Lab on your calendar: February 18-22 at the COD Ranch near Tucson, AZ.
Right now, go to the Kairos Website, download the Leader Self-Assessment, and get ready to start receiving your blessings.
Father, we are all blessing seekers and you are the ultimate blessing giver. Let us open our arms to receive. Amen.
Part 1 of 3
How is your church developing its Shepherding Leadership? Unlike established churches, new churches often have to spend very intentional time training and equipping leaders who are new to the role and calling of being shepherding leaders. The reality is that these leaders may have no formal biblical training and very little life experience in leading others in Biblical Godliness.
To intentionally develop these leaders, let's look at three areas over the next three months: Training, Coaching, and Mentoring.
Shepherding is about more than a bunch of meetings. It is a vital part of God’s design for the church. To train our shepherds is to take care of our congregation. But how do you train these leaders?
Training Shepherding Leaders
How much time do we take to train people in our congregations? We put about 90% of our time and energy into training church members, 9.9999% into our ministry leaders, and barely 0.0001% training our shepherding leadership or elders.
Our membership gets training though small groups, Sunday morning gatherings, and one-on-one contact. Our ministry leaders might go to leader meetings and training programs. But what about those we are expecting to guide and lead us? They have been largely neglected. If we want them to lead our churches, shouldn’t we invest in their development?
Setting the Tone
When we equip shepherding leaders, we should be training them to create and maintain an atmosphere of love. Here are some questions for your elders to consider as they help set the tone for your church:
Dependent on Prayer
A shepherding team that prays together, stays together. Their prayer is specific and authentic and permeates every gathering, not just the beginning of a meeting. Their prayers reflect their desire for God to lead the church. Members of a church whose leadership is praying for them should know they are being prayed for. Does your church know if you’re praying or not?
In the Word
Are your shepherds spending regular time in God’s word? Free them to read the Bible in order to shape their own hearts first. Let God’s view of your church as his bride define you. Work out your group’s understanding of Jesus. Who do you see he was in the Old and New Testaments? Who is he now as he moves through your church? Who will he be when he comes back?
How are you doing with your StratOp? While some of you may be doing OK, I have a sneaking suspicion that for most of you, keeping your StratOp vital and renewed has not been a high priority. Let’s be honest about our realities as church leaders:
This is a list of powerful demotivators. But remember, you invested a lot of time, effort and finances into your church’s StratOp. Wouldn’t it be a shame to lose the gain that StratOp can bring to your church?
One of the best practices of churches that successfully engage StratOp is the discipline of reflection and renewal. Reflection looks backward to what you have been working on during the past season. Renewal gets you planning the next season.
Right now, go to the Kairos website and download the StratOp Refresh and Renew worksheet. This 30-minute worksheet will get you ready for the new church season that begins Labor Day. (If you don't know what I'm talking about when I say StratOp, learn more here.)
Here’s how the worksheet is organized:
Download your 30-minute StratOp Renew and Refresh worksheet under Strategy here.